COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING
Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space, these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking.
TIME TO GET YOUR AURA RIGHT.
Deep, and we mean deep, in the jagged red rocks of Vasquez, near a hidden oasis, you will find your spiritual awakening, and new leader. We call him....BabyCarlsho. He is wise. He is super old. And most importantly, he is always chillin. This is the key to getting your aura right. Well, that, and a carved-out hunk of Flamingo-ite on yo' face.