Stop, Drop, And Scroll Origin Story
CHAOS IN LETTUCE LACE PARK
Lettuce Lace Park witnessed an unprecedented Flamingo fight when rival flamingos came face to face in a quiet neighborhood located on the outskirts of Tampa. The incident took place near the park’s observation tower, which is a popular tourist destination.
According to local media reports, the fight between the group of flamingos broke out due to a shortage of buffet restaurant dining caused by the pandemic. Domesticated Floridian flamingos have grown accustomed to the ease and comfort of strip mall buffet restaurant fare, particularly salad bars that also offer unlimited servings of shellfish, such as King crab legs and popcorn shrimp. Upon hearing that popular salad bar chain, Souplantation (R.I.P.), had recently closed due to the pandemic, local flamingos panicked and flocked to Lettuce Lace Park for an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord, confusing the name with a now-shuttered all-you-can-eat salad bar of the same name. Upon their arrival, and discovering that there was no food to be eaten, the flamingos flew into a rage.
Carl the Flamingo, witnessing the chaos, was quick to spring into action. He called local fast food chain, Captain Mook’s Fish N Chips, where he spoke to server and famed local high school legend Brad Hamilton. (It’s not hard to see why Brad is also employee of the month.) Thanks to the quick thinking of these two heroes, they were able to get 85 “catch-of-the-day” boxes delivered to the park within the hour, minimizing damage to the park’s facilities.
In a feat of bravery, Carl climbed the observation tower with a megaphone and started chanting, “Lettuce feast, lettuce feast, lettuce feast!!!!” While Brad made it rain boxes of beloved popcorn shrimp and fries. Knowing the flamingos would be dying of thirst from the heat and physical strain of the incident, Carl filled a Super Swampinator Squirt gun with bucket margaritas and quenched the crowd. In no time, the rage and hunger were extinguished. Everyone was invited back to Carl’s house for an orgy and the park was cleared.
The unusual incident was caught on camera by local surf bro, Fleabag Jenkins. When interviewed by KRON69’s own Wendy Clamdiggins about the incident, he said, “Oh brah, it’s just like, in Tampa you get, like, the best buffet food ever dude. You just like show up and just like drop in and like eat some all-you-can-eat clams n’ brews, brah. And just like these ‘mingos, you rage when you can’t get it, you know? I was like, hangin’ out in my kayak in the park when all hell broke loose, brah. So I had to, like, think fast and roll my camera, brah. Go to my Instagram, @TheREALFleabagJenkins69 right now, brah. Stop, drop and scroll. Stop, drop and scroll. STOP, DROP AND SCROOOOLLLL!!!! Do it, brah.”
Carl the Flamingo and Brad Hamilton will be honored this weekend by Tampa’s Mayor, Jayne Castavet, where Carl will be presented with the Key to the City for his bravery. He also created Stop, Drop, and Scroll sunnies, inspired by the Fleabag Jenkins’ viral video. Proceeds from the sales will go towards a buffet fund for one lucky flamingo. (That flamingo is Carl, duh.)
WELCOME TO CARL'S INNER CIRCLE
Introducing the new Circle Gs! We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re doing squats with a dog in your arms or sipping a nitro cold brew.
THE DREAM OF THE CIRCLES IS ALIVE
Which came first: the Portlandia episode, or the picklers? This age-old question has plagued humankind for centuries. So...hmm...actually, guess that means it was probably the picklers that came first since tv didn’t exist yet. Phew, what a relief. Glad we solved that for one for you today. (Oh, and eggs, eggs came first if you still haven’t figured out that other one.)
Proper Shoe Fit
Get The Right Size!
Improper shoe sizing and shape are the primary cause of ingrown toenails, bunions, corns and hammer toes. Sounds fun, doesn't it? It's not. Shoes that don’t fit your feet correctly can also lead to muscular imbalances in the body, opening the door to foot, knee and hip injuries.
The More You Know..
Most runners get shoes too small for them because they don't take into account these factors:
- When a load is applied to your foot by running, your foot will spread up to half an inch in length. One shoe size is only 1/3 inch.
- If allowed, your foot will splay 15 percent in width under load.
- Your foot is widest at the toes (but most shoes are not).
Tips on sizing
- Do not assume you are the same size as a previous shoe.
- If your feet are slightly different sizes, get your shoes to fit the larger foot.
- Use this shoe sizing chart:
Foot in Inches | Foot in Centimeters | U.S. Women's Size | U.S. Men's Size |
8 11/16 | 22.07 | 5 | - |
8 13/16 | 22.38 | 5.5 | - |
9 | 22.86 | 6 | - |
9 3/16 | 23.34 | 6.5 | - |
9 5/16 | 23.65 | 7 | 6 |
9 1/2 | 24.13 | 7.5 | 6.5 |
9 11/16 | 24.61 | 8 |
7 |
9 13/16 | 24.92 | 8.5 | 7.5 |
10 | 25.4 | 9 | 8 |
10 3/16 | 25.88 | 9.5 | 8.5 |
10 5/16 | 26.19 | 10 | 9 |
10 1/2 | 26.67 | 10.5 | 9.5 |
10 11/16 | 27.15 | 11 | 10 |
10 13/16 | 27.46 | 11.5 | 10.5 |
11 | 27.94 | 12 | 11 |
11 3/16 | 28.42 | - | 11.5 |
11 5/16 | 28.73 | 13 | 12 |
11 1/2 | 29.21 | - | 12.5 |
11 11/16 | 29.69 |
- |
13 |
12 | 30.48 | - | 14 |
12 5/16 | 31.27 | - | 15 |
12 13/16 |
32.23 | - | 16 |
13 | 33.02 | - | 17 |
Returns & Exchanges
Return / Exchange Policy
Shoes:
Within 30 days of the purchase date, you can return your shoes, new or used, for a refund or exchange for the full value of your purchase. Refunds are given in the same payment method you made the purchase. Sale items are final and not eligible for a refund. After 3 returns, all future returns are subject to final sale at manager's discretion.
Apparel & Accessories:
Within 30 days of the purchase date, you can return unworn and unused apparel or accessories items (tags still attached) for a refund or exchange for the full value of your purchase. Worn or used items cannot be returned. Refunds are given in the same payment method you made the purchase.
Return / Exchange Shipping Instructions for Online Orders
It's easy to make a return or exchange. Just follow these steps:
1 Place the items you would like to return / exchange and a copy of the receipt back into the original shipping box and securely tape your shipment closed.
2 Take the package to one of the shipping carrier’s drop-off locations or schedule a pick-up.
Please allow 7-10 working days for your return / exchange to be processed.
All returns should be sent to:
Louisiana Running + Walking Co.
4153 Canal St. New Orleans, LA 70119